So yesterday was my final day at Eastern Correctional Institution as a Case Manager Intern. Since then I've been busy packing and now have some time to write my final entry before the U-haul truck comes and I transport all of my life to Chapel Hill. I'm really not sure how I want to end this blog. Perhaps I'll write a list of things I have learned this summer while living in Greenville and working at Eastern. The list could go on for a long time, but I'll try to keep it to eleven.
1. Integrity Baptist Church in Greenville is a great church. I wish I had taken the time to write an entire entry about how great this church is. If you live in Greenville and are looking for a church that is rooted in God's Word, strongly values Christian community, and is passionate about serving the city of Greenville then I would recommend going to Integrity Baptist Church. You can find out more about the church at liveintegrity.org
2. There are still adults out there that enjoy their jobs and love what they do. I met some of those people at Eastern. Now, I'm not so afraid to "grow up" because it's still possible to find a job that you enjoy and even if it's not exactly where you pictured yourself doing, you can make the most of it, just like some of the people at Eastern are doing.
3. There are still adults out there that are very cynical. I met some of them at Eastern and they have had their share of influence on me. I find myself thinking about things and all of a sudden I'll think of what a cynic would say. Like the other day when I found out that some people at Eastern wanted to take me out to lunch. My first thought was, "oh they probably just want an excuse to get away from this place." I was shocked that I thought that. Then my boss reminded me that people were willing to take time out of their schedules to join me for lunch. Knowing what cynics might say about things could help me to better understand where they're coming from, but I don't ever want to be cynical like that. Now I'm not saying these cynics aren't telling the truth when they say that people are only out there to get ahead and get more money, and they're really not out there to help you; but how unhappy a life to get sucked into that game of competition, manipulation, and distrust. Yeah, being loving and kind may mean you get rejected and hurt every once in awhile, but rejection didn't keep Jesus from loving us and I hope I remember that as I grow older and enter the workplace.
4. People in Greene County purposely set their fields on fire. And even if there is gray, billowing smoke coming from the field and the smoke is covering the road, you shouldn't call 911 because the operator will just tell you that the people of Greene County are field-burning today.
5. Chaplain Wood had some great words of wisdom for me before he left my going-away lunch. He said, "Remain strong in your faith, like I know you already are. That boy you've got, love him. And this is important, there are two paths: you can either love God, love others and use things to help others OR love yourself, love things, and use others to get those things."
6. There aren't many speed limit signs in Greene County so you just have to guess how fast you want to go, but even then you'll probably still get passed by Greene County natives.
7. While being where God wants you to be, you can do something you never even realized you were doing. My boss told me my last week here that I had showed him that not everybody from UNC-Chapel Hill was morally liberal. He also said that I had surprised him and made him re-think some of his thoughts about my generation. When he said this I said, "There's still hope for us." Yes, and that hope is Jesus.
8. You can make a difference in someone's life. The GED teacher told me one of her favorite stories was the story of the starfish.
A boy was walking down a beach that was covered by starfish that had been washed ashore. He began to pick them up, one by one, and throw them into the ocean. An older man came up to him and said, "Boy, why are you even trying? You'll never make a difference to these starfish." The boy picked another one up and threw it back into the ocean. "Made a difference to that one," said the boy. He picked up another one, "made a difference to that one."
I like that story. The GED teacher says her job is worthwhile if she can just have one inmate get his GED. Of course, she's already helped several inmates get their GEDs so she's definitely making a difference.
9. It's nice to have family when you're in a new town for the summer.
10. God always has a plan. Sometimes you find out that you could have lived with your Uncle Short for the entire summer, rent-free in a place 10 minutes from work, but then you realize that God wanted you to live with three other girls in an apartment that was 35 minutes from work and that's ok.
11. As I get older I grow in awe of all my parents have done for me. It took everything I had to get up, go to work for 8 hours, come home, make dinner, and maybe watch TV or work out. How did my parents do all of that, plus take me to volleyball practice, plus spend time daily with God, plus do all the other things that parents do? I'm not sure; but maybe one day, a day very far away, I'll be able to do all of that so I can be a good parent, too.
I could write a lot more, but these are some of the important life lessons I learned the summer, as well as some of the little things I learned about Greene County and Pitt County. Thanks to everybody who took time to read my blog this summer and who sent me e-mails or made comments on the blog. I appreciate everyone's love, support, and encouragement.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
"Dear Dad, things around here have be rough since you left. "
That's what a child wrote to his father who is an inmate at prison. I saw the note when I was in the mailroom in Monday and I thought of it again when I saw a four year old and eight year old in the visitation area today. My heart breaks for these children who are growing up with their fathers in prison. I can't even imagine what it is like. I pray that some of these fathers will realize how their mistakes affect their families, and hopefully that will motivate them to never step back in prison again. I am encouraged when I meet inmates like Mr. Cooper who will be getting out in September. I only know more about his situation because I've been able to sit in on meetings between him and Mr. Tiller, a man who helps inmates from Edgecombe County find jobs when they get released. At his first meeting with Mr. Tiller, Mr. Cooper said that he had plans for when he was released so he could stay out of prison because he had a son now and he wanted to be a good example for him. The cynic may say that he's just another inmate with a false story, but I believe him and after meeting with him a few times, Mr. Tiller thinks so too. My boss said that Mr. Cooper changed for the better once he got his GED. Before he took GED classes Mr. Coooper had been reluctant to get an education but once he started passing some tests and building some confidence he was excited to get his GED and apparently was very proud on graduation day. Mr. Tiller met with Mr. Cooper yesterday to fill out some job applications and to find some sort of stable housing for when he gets out. I think the transition services that Mr. Tiller provides is the kind of thing I thought case managers would provide, but case managers mainly work on what the inmate does while in prison. I would really like to someday do what Mr. Tiller is doing because it is directly helping someone get off their feet and giving them a second chance after prison.
Only two more days at Eastern, it's gone by quickly.
I was talking about the kids earlier and my step-mom's cousin, Claire, who is one of the family members that lives in Greenville, told me about a ministry that helps children of inmates. The ministry will be coming to Maury Correctional, a prison down the road from Eastern, this weekend. She said the ministry was started by a woman whose father was in prison when she was growing up. Claire said the focus of it is reconciliation between parents and children and the woman uses her story to help others. The ministry's event is two days, I think, and involves different activities for the children, the fathers and the caregivers of the children and it also involves time between the children and fathers. Now, I've heard a lot about reconciliation the past couple of years, specifically concerning racial reconciliation, and I think it is so cool that someone is actively teaching and helping others to practice reconciliation.
Only two more days at Eastern, it's gone by quickly.
I was talking about the kids earlier and my step-mom's cousin, Claire, who is one of the family members that lives in Greenville, told me about a ministry that helps children of inmates. The ministry will be coming to Maury Correctional, a prison down the road from Eastern, this weekend. She said the ministry was started by a woman whose father was in prison when she was growing up. Claire said the focus of it is reconciliation between parents and children and the woman uses her story to help others. The ministry's event is two days, I think, and involves different activities for the children, the fathers and the caregivers of the children and it also involves time between the children and fathers. Now, I've heard a lot about reconciliation the past couple of years, specifically concerning racial reconciliation, and I think it is so cool that someone is actively teaching and helping others to practice reconciliation.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
We're all brothers and sisters in Christ, right?
That's what I said to myself about two weeks ago as I sat in my car in the parking lot of Koiana Christian Center on Greenville Blvd. It was a Wednesday night and I had decided that I really needed some mid-week Christian fellowship so I had driven to People's Baptist Church, a church that a friend had recommended. I pulled into a very empty parking lot and saw a sign on the door saying that Wednesday night meetings were scheduled for Thursday nights during the month of July. "Just great." I thought. I could have gone back home and watched TV after that, but I really felt like I needed to be in a place with other Christians that night. It had been a hard week for me, because if I wasn't at home in the apartment by myself, I was trying to support my roommate Katie who was mending a broken heart. It wasn't that I felt burdened by Katie and her problems, because I was glad that I could at least be there to listen, but her world is so different from mine and words that I would usually use to comfort a sister in Christ did not seem to help a person that was so angry at God. So anyways I knew I needed to hear the word of God with other Christians so I left People's Baptist and drove to the church next door, Koiana Christian Center. The church looked very contemporary with its flashing sign, huge parking lot, and one story campus. As I pulled into the parking lot I saw people walking towards the church campus. All of the people I saw, at first, were black. I then thought that this church might be a lot like the church I grew up in, back in Apex, a racially diverse church that had been a perfect church for my multi-racial family. Well, as I drove around the parking lot, looking for a spot, I noticed that I saw no people of any other race. All of a sudden, the comfort I felt faded.
I never realized the comfort I felt from being around white people, people of the same race as me, until they were all gone. I began thinking back to the two Gold-n-love meetings I had attended at UNC last fall. Gold-n-love is a campus service organization that, I found out upon attending, is all black and whose mission statement is to empower minorities by providing minority mentors for minority students. I had been the only white person at those meetings and had tried to make the best of it, but wasn't too distraught when I realized I wouldn't be able to attend anymore because of a scheduling conflict. Then I thought of my experiences at attending predominantly-black churches. Those had been uncomfortable, but I had always been with a friend or family member so that had helped. Now, I sat in my car alone, not knowing what to do. My mind raced with questions: We're all brothers and sisters in Christ, right? Why should it matter if I'm white? But, what if they are a church that is ethnic-specific? What if I get stared at? I prayed that God would give me the strength to step out of the car. I somehow did, and received a little comfort from the fact that I thought I saw two white people walking from their car towards the building. As I neared the building I tried to keep my head up and look like I belonged there, but on the inside my heart was pounding.
I entered the church and was releived to see that the auditorium was very big so I could just sit at the back and hopefully be un-noticed. Then, an usher came up to me and asked me if I just needed one seat. I said yes and she pointed me to another usher waiting for me at the fourth row from the front of the church. Everyone I saw was black. At this time the church choir was on stage singing a song, that everybody in the church seemed to know by heart and I took my seat feeling like I was being stared at by everyone. I know that sounds selfish and paranoid, but it's how I felt. The choir finished their song and took their seats for the Bible Study to begin. The church was similar to the few Pentacostal church services I had been to, where there was a lot of "conversation" between the pastor and the congregation. People would say amen, lift their hands and say words like "preach it" while the drums and piano would begin playing at a dramatic part of the study. The woman sitting next to me would sometimes look at me and say "amen" and sorta nudge my shoulder, almost as to tell me that I should probably say amen, too. By the end of the message I was saying "amen" but I wasn't comfortable enough to stand up or raise my hands. During the message the camera-person would switch views from the pastor and put the camera on the congregation so they might be seen on the two projections screens at the front of the auditorium. At one time the camera was on me. I was freaking out on the inside but on the outside I just tried to stay focused ont he pastor. I could have sworn I saw a person at the front of the church take a double-take rapidly looking from the pastor to the screen a couple of times. Another guy in front of me, looked at the screen and laughed. And right after the camera moved from me, the pastor asked, "Why ya'll so quiet? You must not want to be in church right now." All of this could have been a coincidence, but I was so uncomfortable I felt like all of it was a result of me being white. As the message continued I grew more comfortable as the pastor spoked about being in tune with the Holy Spirit and how He has shown Himself throughout the Old and New Testament. I did appreciate the fact that at one point during the message, when talking about oral tradition,s she said, "Now I know not all of us in here are African-American, but I would like to say to those that are, that we are losing our traditions." It reminded me of how important it is to recognize others. Like when people in Intervaristy say "we're white" that completely overlooks the few people in Intervarsity that aren't white.
By the end of the service I had seen two other white women, but my feeling so discomfort stil lingered. After the service I walked directly to my car, glad to have received the Word but also glad to be heading home. I thought to myself, how that may be like it always is for minorities and how they might just have to get used to it after awhile. But I was talking to my step-dad, who is black, the other day about my experience and he told me that he still never gets used to being the only black person in a place. I couldn't believe that! I thought for sure, you would just get used to it after awhile, but he said, for him, it's still really hard. It's hard for him to not perceive looks as stares and to not perceive whispers as being about you. I don't know how to change that, but I really wished that didn't happen.
And things like that, that my step-dad has told me over the years, have really made me passionate about God's value of multi-ethnicity. It's not that I want the church, as in the body of Christ, to overlook race, but I want the church to be able to welcome people and to make them feel at home. I want everybody in the church to feel like I did at my family reunion the other weekend: I knew I was white and that almost all of my family was black but I also knew that I loved them and they loved me and that made me feel more comfortable around my extended family than I have ever felt before.
I never realized the comfort I felt from being around white people, people of the same race as me, until they were all gone. I began thinking back to the two Gold-n-love meetings I had attended at UNC last fall. Gold-n-love is a campus service organization that, I found out upon attending, is all black and whose mission statement is to empower minorities by providing minority mentors for minority students. I had been the only white person at those meetings and had tried to make the best of it, but wasn't too distraught when I realized I wouldn't be able to attend anymore because of a scheduling conflict. Then I thought of my experiences at attending predominantly-black churches. Those had been uncomfortable, but I had always been with a friend or family member so that had helped. Now, I sat in my car alone, not knowing what to do. My mind raced with questions: We're all brothers and sisters in Christ, right? Why should it matter if I'm white? But, what if they are a church that is ethnic-specific? What if I get stared at? I prayed that God would give me the strength to step out of the car. I somehow did, and received a little comfort from the fact that I thought I saw two white people walking from their car towards the building. As I neared the building I tried to keep my head up and look like I belonged there, but on the inside my heart was pounding.
I entered the church and was releived to see that the auditorium was very big so I could just sit at the back and hopefully be un-noticed. Then, an usher came up to me and asked me if I just needed one seat. I said yes and she pointed me to another usher waiting for me at the fourth row from the front of the church. Everyone I saw was black. At this time the church choir was on stage singing a song, that everybody in the church seemed to know by heart and I took my seat feeling like I was being stared at by everyone. I know that sounds selfish and paranoid, but it's how I felt. The choir finished their song and took their seats for the Bible Study to begin. The church was similar to the few Pentacostal church services I had been to, where there was a lot of "conversation" between the pastor and the congregation. People would say amen, lift their hands and say words like "preach it" while the drums and piano would begin playing at a dramatic part of the study. The woman sitting next to me would sometimes look at me and say "amen" and sorta nudge my shoulder, almost as to tell me that I should probably say amen, too. By the end of the message I was saying "amen" but I wasn't comfortable enough to stand up or raise my hands. During the message the camera-person would switch views from the pastor and put the camera on the congregation so they might be seen on the two projections screens at the front of the auditorium. At one time the camera was on me. I was freaking out on the inside but on the outside I just tried to stay focused ont he pastor. I could have sworn I saw a person at the front of the church take a double-take rapidly looking from the pastor to the screen a couple of times. Another guy in front of me, looked at the screen and laughed. And right after the camera moved from me, the pastor asked, "Why ya'll so quiet? You must not want to be in church right now." All of this could have been a coincidence, but I was so uncomfortable I felt like all of it was a result of me being white. As the message continued I grew more comfortable as the pastor spoked about being in tune with the Holy Spirit and how He has shown Himself throughout the Old and New Testament. I did appreciate the fact that at one point during the message, when talking about oral tradition,s she said, "Now I know not all of us in here are African-American, but I would like to say to those that are, that we are losing our traditions." It reminded me of how important it is to recognize others. Like when people in Intervaristy say "we're white" that completely overlooks the few people in Intervarsity that aren't white.
By the end of the service I had seen two other white women, but my feeling so discomfort stil lingered. After the service I walked directly to my car, glad to have received the Word but also glad to be heading home. I thought to myself, how that may be like it always is for minorities and how they might just have to get used to it after awhile. But I was talking to my step-dad, who is black, the other day about my experience and he told me that he still never gets used to being the only black person in a place. I couldn't believe that! I thought for sure, you would just get used to it after awhile, but he said, for him, it's still really hard. It's hard for him to not perceive looks as stares and to not perceive whispers as being about you. I don't know how to change that, but I really wished that didn't happen.
And things like that, that my step-dad has told me over the years, have really made me passionate about God's value of multi-ethnicity. It's not that I want the church, as in the body of Christ, to overlook race, but I want the church to be able to welcome people and to make them feel at home. I want everybody in the church to feel like I did at my family reunion the other weekend: I knew I was white and that almost all of my family was black but I also knew that I loved them and they loved me and that made me feel more comfortable around my extended family than I have ever felt before.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
"You're going to have nightmares of files!"
That's what the nurse supervisor said to me this afternoon after I had been in the medical records room for 8 hours today. I spent the entire day filing the medication records from June. I was so exhausted from being on my feet that day that it probably took me five minutes to walk from the gatehouse to my car. And when I got home my roommate said I looked so tired.
Thankfully, I wasn't by myself all day though. Ms. Artis is a pharmacy technician whose office is in the medical records room and she is always making me smile. We don't even have many conversations but she's always making comments that make me smile. She completely speaks her mind. And today was very busy for her and she was constantly saying "Help me Lord" and "If they call me one more time...." She reminds me a lot of Madea, the Tyler Perry character, and not in a bad way, she just speaks her mind. The first time I met her she was telling me about inmates coming to the medical window to pick up medicines and she said, "Yeah they learned real quick how I do things. They tuck their shirts in and make sure their hair looks okay. I don't need anyone coming to the window looking like they just put their finger in an electrical socket!" There's also C/O Albertson who is posted at the door and checks the inmates that come in and out of medical. He is constantly giving Ms. Artis a hard time. They remind me of a brother and sister. And today Mr. Albertson kept calling Ms. Branam, and I didn't know how to correct him so I just went with it. I mean, how do you tell someone what your name is without really making it awkward? I don't think there is a way. Then, there is Ms. King one of the full-time nurses. I've had conversations with her when she's not too busy, which doesn't happen a lot, but if she is finished seeing a patient or is just looking for a file she'll come back and talk to me. She's working on her bachelor's degree and has a big family. I enjoy talking to her.
So with all that said, I think one of the biggest things I've learned from this job is that even if a job isn't exactly what you love to do, it can still really be great if you're surrounded by people. I love learning about people (spoken like a true psychology major, I know.) Everybody has a story and I've enjoyed getting to know the stories of some of the staff at Eastern. Sometimes it will begin with me just asking someone about what kind of responsibilities fall under his/her position, and I'll end up finding about families, schooling, hobbies, etc. It's been really cool too, because while I'm having these conversation it's hard for me not to bring up God. He is a central part of my life, so faith usually always comes up, even if it's just me saying "yeah, that's the plan for now, but it's really up to what God wants." or mentioning church. And some people just continue talking about other things, but a few people have continued to talk about faith. One woman told me about her faith and her involvement in the church. She was surprised to see a young person with faith and asked if there were people at college like that. I was glad that I could say yes, there are young people out there who really love Jesus. Another guy and I talked about the importance of church in the life of a person, and even though we disagreed on the subject, he didn't get upset, but instead said, "With as religious as you are I would have thought you'd gone to Campbell." Another man opened up to his doubts about God and how he didn't understand why God had let certain things happen in his life.
So even though this internship isn't exactly what I've expected it to be, it reminded me that I am most definitely a people-person and that everybody has a story and many people are willing to talk if you just listen.
Thankfully, I wasn't by myself all day though. Ms. Artis is a pharmacy technician whose office is in the medical records room and she is always making me smile. We don't even have many conversations but she's always making comments that make me smile. She completely speaks her mind. And today was very busy for her and she was constantly saying "Help me Lord" and "If they call me one more time...." She reminds me a lot of Madea, the Tyler Perry character, and not in a bad way, she just speaks her mind. The first time I met her she was telling me about inmates coming to the medical window to pick up medicines and she said, "Yeah they learned real quick how I do things. They tuck their shirts in and make sure their hair looks okay. I don't need anyone coming to the window looking like they just put their finger in an electrical socket!" There's also C/O Albertson who is posted at the door and checks the inmates that come in and out of medical. He is constantly giving Ms. Artis a hard time. They remind me of a brother and sister. And today Mr. Albertson kept calling Ms. Branam, and I didn't know how to correct him so I just went with it. I mean, how do you tell someone what your name is without really making it awkward? I don't think there is a way. Then, there is Ms. King one of the full-time nurses. I've had conversations with her when she's not too busy, which doesn't happen a lot, but if she is finished seeing a patient or is just looking for a file she'll come back and talk to me. She's working on her bachelor's degree and has a big family. I enjoy talking to her.
So with all that said, I think one of the biggest things I've learned from this job is that even if a job isn't exactly what you love to do, it can still really be great if you're surrounded by people. I love learning about people (spoken like a true psychology major, I know.) Everybody has a story and I've enjoyed getting to know the stories of some of the staff at Eastern. Sometimes it will begin with me just asking someone about what kind of responsibilities fall under his/her position, and I'll end up finding about families, schooling, hobbies, etc. It's been really cool too, because while I'm having these conversation it's hard for me not to bring up God. He is a central part of my life, so faith usually always comes up, even if it's just me saying "yeah, that's the plan for now, but it's really up to what God wants." or mentioning church. And some people just continue talking about other things, but a few people have continued to talk about faith. One woman told me about her faith and her involvement in the church. She was surprised to see a young person with faith and asked if there were people at college like that. I was glad that I could say yes, there are young people out there who really love Jesus. Another guy and I talked about the importance of church in the life of a person, and even though we disagreed on the subject, he didn't get upset, but instead said, "With as religious as you are I would have thought you'd gone to Campbell." Another man opened up to his doubts about God and how he didn't understand why God had let certain things happen in his life.
So even though this internship isn't exactly what I've expected it to be, it reminded me that I am most definitely a people-person and that everybody has a story and many people are willing to talk if you just listen.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Greene County Kin, E-bird's 90th birthday, and shaking the Governor's hand
A quick update.
Last Thursday night I was invited to the home of Claire and Bob Smith. Claire is my step-mom's cousin and she also works at the DOC Eastern region office in Greenville. I only discovered this a couple of weeks ago when I was telling my step-mom about my internship. I had met Claire on the second day of my internship, at a DOC volunteer reception in Raleigh, but I had no idea that we were related. It's a small world. After making the discovery that I had family in Greene County, I spoke to Claire and she invited to come and eat at her house. Her father, Short Shirley, lives across the street from her and I got to see him as well. It was sort of like meeting him, though, because the last time I saw him was when I went to his house for Thanksgiving when I was about 8. It was nice to talk to Claire, Bob, and Uncle Short (that's what everybody on my step-mom's side of the family calls him, regardless of if he's technically their uncle or not) and catch up. I actually found out that my grandfather (Papa) grew up in Greene County and before dinner Uncle Short took me on a tour of the surrounding property. He showed me the house where him and Papa and their other siblings grew up. He also showed me the house of other relatives. It's really neat that he knows everybody in the area. Him and the Smiths also had many connections to Eastern. For one, Bob used to be the superintendent at Eastern a few years ago before he became the superintendent at Maury, and then retired. The mailroom actually received a letter for him the other day. Also, the chaplain at the prison used to be the pastor at the church the Smiths and Uncle Short attend, in fact, he was the pastor at Bob and Claire's wedding. I spoke to him about this connection and he told me that Uncle Short's wife was such a great example of a Christian woman. He said the Smiths and Uncle Short were very good Christian family. I felt proud to have my kin spoken so highly of. We both joked that hopefully that was one part of the family that rubbed off on me.
After dinner Thursday night I drove to Greenville to pack up for the weekend. My family and I left on Friday to attend a family get-together/celebration of my grandma's 90th birthday in Covington, VA. It was nice to see my family again. The celebration had less people than the usual family reunions so I actually remembered most of the people. A part of the weekend that I really enjoyed was going to Clifton Forge, VA (the next town over) which is where my step-dad grew up. Many of the people he and his siblings grew up with still live there and we got to meet some of them. I was able to see some of the houses where JJ (my step-dad) used to live, the downtown areas where he used to hang out, and the shortcuts he took to school. I was also able to see the schools that he used to tell me about. I got to see the black school where he went until his junior year of high school and then I got to see the white school where he was sent to for his junior and senior year because the schools were beginning to integrate. He's told me a few of the stories that occurred in those buildings and on that football field and it was neat to actually see the place. It is difficult to think, though, that there were separate schools for blacks and whites and that there was a black area of town and a white area of town and that these two areas were separated by railroad tracks.
Saturday night we held a banquet for my grandma and she seemed to really love it. Everybody dressed up and we met in the banquet hall at the restaurant. One of my favorite parts was read by Tiffany (my Uncle's granddaughter). She told us five lessons that she learned from grandma and they were all concerning phrases that my grandma often says such as "lay that pistol down" or "Oooh oooh oooh". After the tributes and the food we all stayed around to talk and take lots of pictures. It was a nice weekend.
Today I attended a reception for all interns that are participating in the same program as I am, as well as the interns who work at the executive, legislative, and judicial offices. It was held at the Governor's mansion. I had never been there before and it was beautiful. We had time to talk to other interns and mingle and such. Then, the Governor, Mrs. Perdue, spoke. She congratulated all of us for our accomplishments and told us she believed that we "the best and the brightest" were the future of our state. It would sound corny to most people but I really felt she was sincere. She encouraged us to continue to work hard and pursue our goals, and she hoped that they might include serving the state of North Carolina or at least serving just serving others. She hoped to encourage us by saying that she has hope for the future of North Carolina and it is that hope that continues to drive her to serve this state even when things seem difficult. She said that was part of being a leader: making decisions, and remembering the long term as well as the short term. The Governor and all of the interns took a picture on the steps of the mansion. My friend, Tessa, and I were standing right beside her. After the photo was taken we were both able to shake her hand and thank her. I'm not sure if we were supposed to do that or not, but I just followed Tessa's lead because I thought it was a great moment to do so. After we shook her hand, though, she was whisked away by security. It was a nice event and I enjoyed it.
Tomorrow I head back to Eastern. I only have 2 1/2 weeks left. It has flown by and I hope I can make the most of each day that I have left.
Last Thursday night I was invited to the home of Claire and Bob Smith. Claire is my step-mom's cousin and she also works at the DOC Eastern region office in Greenville. I only discovered this a couple of weeks ago when I was telling my step-mom about my internship. I had met Claire on the second day of my internship, at a DOC volunteer reception in Raleigh, but I had no idea that we were related. It's a small world. After making the discovery that I had family in Greene County, I spoke to Claire and she invited to come and eat at her house. Her father, Short Shirley, lives across the street from her and I got to see him as well. It was sort of like meeting him, though, because the last time I saw him was when I went to his house for Thanksgiving when I was about 8. It was nice to talk to Claire, Bob, and Uncle Short (that's what everybody on my step-mom's side of the family calls him, regardless of if he's technically their uncle or not) and catch up. I actually found out that my grandfather (Papa) grew up in Greene County and before dinner Uncle Short took me on a tour of the surrounding property. He showed me the house where him and Papa and their other siblings grew up. He also showed me the house of other relatives. It's really neat that he knows everybody in the area. Him and the Smiths also had many connections to Eastern. For one, Bob used to be the superintendent at Eastern a few years ago before he became the superintendent at Maury, and then retired. The mailroom actually received a letter for him the other day. Also, the chaplain at the prison used to be the pastor at the church the Smiths and Uncle Short attend, in fact, he was the pastor at Bob and Claire's wedding. I spoke to him about this connection and he told me that Uncle Short's wife was such a great example of a Christian woman. He said the Smiths and Uncle Short were very good Christian family. I felt proud to have my kin spoken so highly of. We both joked that hopefully that was one part of the family that rubbed off on me.
After dinner Thursday night I drove to Greenville to pack up for the weekend. My family and I left on Friday to attend a family get-together/celebration of my grandma's 90th birthday in Covington, VA. It was nice to see my family again. The celebration had less people than the usual family reunions so I actually remembered most of the people. A part of the weekend that I really enjoyed was going to Clifton Forge, VA (the next town over) which is where my step-dad grew up. Many of the people he and his siblings grew up with still live there and we got to meet some of them. I was able to see some of the houses where JJ (my step-dad) used to live, the downtown areas where he used to hang out, and the shortcuts he took to school. I was also able to see the schools that he used to tell me about. I got to see the black school where he went until his junior year of high school and then I got to see the white school where he was sent to for his junior and senior year because the schools were beginning to integrate. He's told me a few of the stories that occurred in those buildings and on that football field and it was neat to actually see the place. It is difficult to think, though, that there were separate schools for blacks and whites and that there was a black area of town and a white area of town and that these two areas were separated by railroad tracks.
Saturday night we held a banquet for my grandma and she seemed to really love it. Everybody dressed up and we met in the banquet hall at the restaurant. One of my favorite parts was read by Tiffany (my Uncle's granddaughter). She told us five lessons that she learned from grandma and they were all concerning phrases that my grandma often says such as "lay that pistol down" or "Oooh oooh oooh". After the tributes and the food we all stayed around to talk and take lots of pictures. It was a nice weekend.
Today I attended a reception for all interns that are participating in the same program as I am, as well as the interns who work at the executive, legislative, and judicial offices. It was held at the Governor's mansion. I had never been there before and it was beautiful. We had time to talk to other interns and mingle and such. Then, the Governor, Mrs. Perdue, spoke. She congratulated all of us for our accomplishments and told us she believed that we "the best and the brightest" were the future of our state. It would sound corny to most people but I really felt she was sincere. She encouraged us to continue to work hard and pursue our goals, and she hoped that they might include serving the state of North Carolina or at least serving just serving others. She hoped to encourage us by saying that she has hope for the future of North Carolina and it is that hope that continues to drive her to serve this state even when things seem difficult. She said that was part of being a leader: making decisions, and remembering the long term as well as the short term. The Governor and all of the interns took a picture on the steps of the mansion. My friend, Tessa, and I were standing right beside her. After the photo was taken we were both able to shake her hand and thank her. I'm not sure if we were supposed to do that or not, but I just followed Tessa's lead because I thought it was a great moment to do so. After we shook her hand, though, she was whisked away by security. It was a nice event and I enjoyed it.
Tomorrow I head back to Eastern. I only have 2 1/2 weeks left. It has flown by and I hope I can make the most of each day that I have left.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
I read something so radical today
So today wasn't the greatest of days. It was just one of those days where things that usually just bother me a little bit were driving me crazy and things that never bothered me at all were beginning to bother me. It may have been better if I had had something to keep me busy but my mind had lots of time to wander today and I just kept thinking about all these things that were bothering me. The list of things is long and random and includes being annoyed by facebook, text messaging, adults gossiping, and people that are tough to love. As soon as I got home from work I journaled and prayed about it all and feel very much at peace now.
So instead of dwelling on the little things that really aren't that bad at all, I thought I would write today about a book I've been reading called "Jesus for President." It's written by Shane Claiborne and Chris Haw. I've been slowly reading it over the last year and I've enjoyed reading every part of it. It goes through the Bible and what Jesus has to say about living, about politics and about money. It's all radical, not because it's far from the Bible, but because it's exactly what Jesus preached and I've not used to seeing Jesus' teachings on these topics applied to real life. In fact, our society today is far from some of the things Jesus preached but that doesn't mean we can't be redeemed and pursue His kingdom. The last part of the book gives example of real Christ-followers living out the radical teachings of Jesus in a world where it doesn't seem possible or realistic. Some of the stories are so powerful because it shows me that I can no longer use "cultural or social norms" as reasons for why I can't be exactly like Christ wants me to be. Yes, cultural and social norms make it difficult to automatically change the world in one day but they don't make it impossible to change the world over time.
I would like to share with you a passage of the book that I read today that was so radical and made me really think. So many times I've thought "Well, as a Christian, I would ideally want it that way; but because I'm an American the realistic thing to do is this." But, Jesus doesn't except this excuse and I don't think I should either. I am a Christian and an American, but my identity in Him comes before any other identity. And that is the powerful thing that I am learning from this book and from the Bible.
Amish for Homeland Security
"Do you remember how the Amish responded to the act of terror in their school, when a gunman killed five Amish children in 2006? Our friend Diana Butler Bass wrote an article pontificating what the world would look like if the Amish had led us after September 11. Consider their response to the murders, a response that fascinated the world. Within the first week after the shootings, the Amish families who had suffered such terror responded in four ways that captured the world's attention. First, some elders visited Marie Roberts, the wife of the murderer, to offer forgiveness. Then, the families of the slain girls invited the widow to their own children's funerals. Next, they requested that all relief money intended for the Amish families be shared with Ms. Roberts and her children. And finally, in an astonishing act of reconciliation, dozens of Amish families attended the funeral of the killer.
Diana goes on to share that she talked with her husband about the spiritual power of these actions, commenting, "It is an amazing witness to the peace tradition." And her husband looked at her and said passionately, "Witness? I don't think so. This went well past witnessing. They weren't witnessing to anything They were actively making peace." Her article ends with these words as she reflected on that truth:
Their actions not only witness that the Christian God is a God of forgiveness, but they actively created the conditions in which forgiveness could happen. In the most straightforward way, they embarked on imitating Christ: "Father, forgive them; they know not what they do." In acting as Christ, they did not speculate on forgiveness. They forgave. And forgiveness is, as Christianity teaches, the prerequisite to peace. We forgive because God forgave us; in forgiving we participate in God's dream of reconciliation and shalom.
Then an odd thought occurred to me: What if the Amish were in charge of the war on terror? What if, on the evening of September 12, 2001, we had gone to Osama bin Laden's house (metaphorically, of course, since we didn't know where he lived!) and offered him forgiveness? What if we had invited the families of the hijackers to the funerals of the victims of 9/11? What if a portion of the September 11th Fund had been dedicated to relieving poverty in a Muslim country? What if we dignified the burial of their dead by a respectful grief? What if, instead of seeking vengeance, we had stood together in human pain, looking honestly at the shared sin and sadness we suffered? What if we had tried to make peace? So, here's my modest proposal. We're five years too late for an Amish response to 9/11. But maybe we should ask them to take over the Department of Homeland Security. After all, actively practicing forgiveness and making peace are the only real alternatives to perpetual frear and a multi-generational global religious war. I can't imagine any other path to security. And nobody else can figure out what to do to end this insane war. Why not try the Christian practice of forgiveness? If it worked in Lancaster, maybe it will work in Baghdad, too.
Well said sista': a lovely addition to the campaign. Jesus for president and the Amish for Homeland Security. Amen."
So instead of dwelling on the little things that really aren't that bad at all, I thought I would write today about a book I've been reading called "Jesus for President." It's written by Shane Claiborne and Chris Haw. I've been slowly reading it over the last year and I've enjoyed reading every part of it. It goes through the Bible and what Jesus has to say about living, about politics and about money. It's all radical, not because it's far from the Bible, but because it's exactly what Jesus preached and I've not used to seeing Jesus' teachings on these topics applied to real life. In fact, our society today is far from some of the things Jesus preached but that doesn't mean we can't be redeemed and pursue His kingdom. The last part of the book gives example of real Christ-followers living out the radical teachings of Jesus in a world where it doesn't seem possible or realistic. Some of the stories are so powerful because it shows me that I can no longer use "cultural or social norms" as reasons for why I can't be exactly like Christ wants me to be. Yes, cultural and social norms make it difficult to automatically change the world in one day but they don't make it impossible to change the world over time.
I would like to share with you a passage of the book that I read today that was so radical and made me really think. So many times I've thought "Well, as a Christian, I would ideally want it that way; but because I'm an American the realistic thing to do is this." But, Jesus doesn't except this excuse and I don't think I should either. I am a Christian and an American, but my identity in Him comes before any other identity. And that is the powerful thing that I am learning from this book and from the Bible.
Amish for Homeland Security
"Do you remember how the Amish responded to the act of terror in their school, when a gunman killed five Amish children in 2006? Our friend Diana Butler Bass wrote an article pontificating what the world would look like if the Amish had led us after September 11. Consider their response to the murders, a response that fascinated the world. Within the first week after the shootings, the Amish families who had suffered such terror responded in four ways that captured the world's attention. First, some elders visited Marie Roberts, the wife of the murderer, to offer forgiveness. Then, the families of the slain girls invited the widow to their own children's funerals. Next, they requested that all relief money intended for the Amish families be shared with Ms. Roberts and her children. And finally, in an astonishing act of reconciliation, dozens of Amish families attended the funeral of the killer.
Diana goes on to share that she talked with her husband about the spiritual power of these actions, commenting, "It is an amazing witness to the peace tradition." And her husband looked at her and said passionately, "Witness? I don't think so. This went well past witnessing. They weren't witnessing to anything They were actively making peace." Her article ends with these words as she reflected on that truth:
Their actions not only witness that the Christian God is a God of forgiveness, but they actively created the conditions in which forgiveness could happen. In the most straightforward way, they embarked on imitating Christ: "Father, forgive them; they know not what they do." In acting as Christ, they did not speculate on forgiveness. They forgave. And forgiveness is, as Christianity teaches, the prerequisite to peace. We forgive because God forgave us; in forgiving we participate in God's dream of reconciliation and shalom.
Then an odd thought occurred to me: What if the Amish were in charge of the war on terror? What if, on the evening of September 12, 2001, we had gone to Osama bin Laden's house (metaphorically, of course, since we didn't know where he lived!) and offered him forgiveness? What if we had invited the families of the hijackers to the funerals of the victims of 9/11? What if a portion of the September 11th Fund had been dedicated to relieving poverty in a Muslim country? What if we dignified the burial of their dead by a respectful grief? What if, instead of seeking vengeance, we had stood together in human pain, looking honestly at the shared sin and sadness we suffered? What if we had tried to make peace? So, here's my modest proposal. We're five years too late for an Amish response to 9/11. But maybe we should ask them to take over the Department of Homeland Security. After all, actively practicing forgiveness and making peace are the only real alternatives to perpetual frear and a multi-generational global religious war. I can't imagine any other path to security. And nobody else can figure out what to do to end this insane war. Why not try the Christian practice of forgiveness? If it worked in Lancaster, maybe it will work in Baghdad, too.
Well said sista': a lovely addition to the campaign. Jesus for president and the Amish for Homeland Security. Amen."
Monday, July 6, 2009
4th of July weekend
It's been really quiet here tonight. One of my roommates Whitney is at work. My other roommate Rachel has been away at her grandparents for the last few days. And Katie, my other roommate, went to the pool with some friends. I'm not a huge fan of eating dinner by myself, but this is the first time it's ever happened so it's not that big a deal. The quiet time has given me time to reflect on the day and the past weekend and time to write this post.
It was nice to have a 3-day weekend this past weekend. (July 3rd was a holiday for state employees.) Adam came up Thursday night and we spent the entire weekend together. It was really great to see him. On Saturday we decided to go to Washington, NC which is a town about 20 or so miles from Greenville. I had asked people at work where they suggested going for 4th of July and Washington was one of those places. We went there around 7 and walked around downtown Washington. Although many of the stores were closed because of the holiday there were not many empty storefronts, so it seems like the downtown is actually doing pretty well. Then we walked along the boardwalk where people were already sitting in chairs and on towels. There were a couple of vendors along the boardwalk, selling homemade ice cream, sno-cones, burgers and hot dogs. At around 9 the fireworks began and they were so beautiful along the river. It was a wonderful 4th of July.
Today at work I spent most of the day in the mailroom just sorting out mail. It was a good day and it went by quickly. I don't have much else to write about. I hope all is well with everybody.
It was nice to have a 3-day weekend this past weekend. (July 3rd was a holiday for state employees.) Adam came up Thursday night and we spent the entire weekend together. It was really great to see him. On Saturday we decided to go to Washington, NC which is a town about 20 or so miles from Greenville. I had asked people at work where they suggested going for 4th of July and Washington was one of those places. We went there around 7 and walked around downtown Washington. Although many of the stores were closed because of the holiday there were not many empty storefronts, so it seems like the downtown is actually doing pretty well. Then we walked along the boardwalk where people were already sitting in chairs and on towels. There were a couple of vendors along the boardwalk, selling homemade ice cream, sno-cones, burgers and hot dogs. At around 9 the fireworks began and they were so beautiful along the river. It was a wonderful 4th of July.
Today at work I spent most of the day in the mailroom just sorting out mail. It was a good day and it went by quickly. I don't have much else to write about. I hope all is well with everybody.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Quick Update
Sorry it's been so long since I've written. Things are going well in Greenville, but things have also been pretty busy lately. Here's a quick update of what I've been up to and I'm hoping sometime tomorrow or Thursday I'll be able to elaborate more.
Thursday(6/25): Worked 12 hour day to make up for lost time. I stayed late and attended a Final Step Presentation where kids currently on probation come in and tour the prison and here the stories of current roommates. I wish I could have found out what was going through their heads.
Friday(6/26): Attended internship enrichment activity at Tryon Palace. Met other interns and toured Tryon Palace which is beautiful. Traveled home to Apex and got to see my family and Adam!
Saturday (6/27): My family found a rabbit nest in our backyard and that was very exciting for us. Spent the whole day with my family which was wonderful. Karen (my little sis) wanted to make dinner for our family, so we did that, except I cheated a little bit and bought the main course (chicken) from KFC. We also made some peach cobbler which was so delicious and so easy. Just a large can of peaches, a tablespoon of cinnamon, a box of yellow cake, and a stick of butter. That's all! Adam came over for dinner too and it was great.
Sunday (6/28): Church at Calvary Chapel. So wonderful. I miss it a lot.
Monday (6/29): Stuffing envelopes for 3 hours then working on inmate case plans and assessments. Each inmate is assigned a plan and assessment when they enter the prison system which includes what programs they should be assigned to and stuff like that.
Today, Tuesday (6/30): All day in the medical files room. The medical unit is very understaffed and they had a lot of extra filing to do. Although I didn't get as much human interaction as usual, the time passed by really quickly which was nice. I also have spent a lot of time with my roommate Katie today. We went to Olive Garden and have just been talking a lot. It's been nice.
I feel weird writing such a list-like entry but I at least wanted to give an update and not just have a week of my internship missing. I'm not sure if that makes sense. Oh well. Until next time!
Thursday(6/25): Worked 12 hour day to make up for lost time. I stayed late and attended a Final Step Presentation where kids currently on probation come in and tour the prison and here the stories of current roommates. I wish I could have found out what was going through their heads.
Friday(6/26): Attended internship enrichment activity at Tryon Palace. Met other interns and toured Tryon Palace which is beautiful. Traveled home to Apex and got to see my family and Adam!
Saturday (6/27): My family found a rabbit nest in our backyard and that was very exciting for us. Spent the whole day with my family which was wonderful. Karen (my little sis) wanted to make dinner for our family, so we did that, except I cheated a little bit and bought the main course (chicken) from KFC. We also made some peach cobbler which was so delicious and so easy. Just a large can of peaches, a tablespoon of cinnamon, a box of yellow cake, and a stick of butter. That's all! Adam came over for dinner too and it was great.
Sunday (6/28): Church at Calvary Chapel. So wonderful. I miss it a lot.
Monday (6/29): Stuffing envelopes for 3 hours then working on inmate case plans and assessments. Each inmate is assigned a plan and assessment when they enter the prison system which includes what programs they should be assigned to and stuff like that.
Today, Tuesday (6/30): All day in the medical files room. The medical unit is very understaffed and they had a lot of extra filing to do. Although I didn't get as much human interaction as usual, the time passed by really quickly which was nice. I also have spent a lot of time with my roommate Katie today. We went to Olive Garden and have just been talking a lot. It's been nice.
I feel weird writing such a list-like entry but I at least wanted to give an update and not just have a week of my internship missing. I'm not sure if that makes sense. Oh well. Until next time!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Work on Friday and a wonderful mini-vacation
So today I arrived in Greenville after a 6 hour car drive from Hilton Head Island. I came back a day late because I lost my car key and after finding out that keys for Ford ZX2's are some of the hardest to make, I had to wait for my mom to send the spare key from Apex to South Carolina. It arrived this morning about 11:30 so I didn't get home until 6 and I sure am exhausted. And even though I missed a meeting today with a clinical social worker over at Maury Correctional, I know my boss will try his best to get it re-scheduled and I am very glad that I was able to spend time with my family. I love the closeness of my extended family. It's not just my step-mom's family that is close, relationally and geographically, but so are my mom's family and my step-dad's family. I just don't get to experience it as much because my family in Apex is the one family that is away from everyone else. And I understand why that is and I wouldn't trade growing up in Apex for anything, but I also very much enjoy the times that I get to be with my extended family.
Hilton Head is a wonderful time of the year and I enjoy every time I get to go. My step-mom's parents have had condos there since about 27 years ago and every year for one week the Shirley clan which has now become the Shirley-Mahaffie-O'Wings-Banta-Mulvihill clan gathers together. Most of the time is spent at the pool, the beach or eating together. We also play board games and watch movies and I love it all so much. And this year since all 19 of us were there we decided to take pictures on the beach together. Four generations dressed in white shirts and khakis on the beach.....so great.
But now I am back and having to transition back to work tomorrow. Waking up at 6:30 tomorrow won't be the greatest, but that's life. Before I finish this post I wanted to just say a little bit about work this past Friday. In the morning I did some filing, just putting documents into inmates' transitional folders. Then I was able to work in the mailroom. Earlier in the week, when staff heard I was working there they told me to prepare myself for what I might see. But I actually didn't see anything bad. The C/O (correctional officer) in the mailroom has worked there for the last 3 years or so and she pretty much has everything down to a science. First you have to organize the mail alphabetically, then label the letters with the Unit number, open them with her automatic letter opener (which is pretty cool), then take the contents of the envelope out, check the envelope and its contents for contraband, put the contents back in the envelope and then tape it back up. Many of the inmates received Father's Day cards. Some of them received letters (written in English and Spanish), others received pictures of families, and others received homemade pictures. There is a story behind every card and every letter. I was so curious to see what some people had written (sometimes I wanted to see if I could even read the Spanish) but I had to remind myself that outside of looking for contraband I shouldn't be reading people's mail. I know inmates lose many privileges in prison (such as the privilege of privacy), but I still wanted to give them as much as I could, while looking for contraband.
I enjoyed working in the mailroom because it was something different and because the C/O was very nice. I know she's probably tough around inmates but she said she liked having someone in the mailroom with her so she talked a lot and I enjoyed the conversation.
Well, this post is quite long. I'll end it here. Until next time!
Hilton Head is a wonderful time of the year and I enjoy every time I get to go. My step-mom's parents have had condos there since about 27 years ago and every year for one week the Shirley clan which has now become the Shirley-Mahaffie-O'Wings-Banta-Mulvihill clan gathers together. Most of the time is spent at the pool, the beach or eating together. We also play board games and watch movies and I love it all so much. And this year since all 19 of us were there we decided to take pictures on the beach together. Four generations dressed in white shirts and khakis on the beach.....so great.
But now I am back and having to transition back to work tomorrow. Waking up at 6:30 tomorrow won't be the greatest, but that's life. Before I finish this post I wanted to just say a little bit about work this past Friday. In the morning I did some filing, just putting documents into inmates' transitional folders. Then I was able to work in the mailroom. Earlier in the week, when staff heard I was working there they told me to prepare myself for what I might see. But I actually didn't see anything bad. The C/O (correctional officer) in the mailroom has worked there for the last 3 years or so and she pretty much has everything down to a science. First you have to organize the mail alphabetically, then label the letters with the Unit number, open them with her automatic letter opener (which is pretty cool), then take the contents of the envelope out, check the envelope and its contents for contraband, put the contents back in the envelope and then tape it back up. Many of the inmates received Father's Day cards. Some of them received letters (written in English and Spanish), others received pictures of families, and others received homemade pictures. There is a story behind every card and every letter. I was so curious to see what some people had written (sometimes I wanted to see if I could even read the Spanish) but I had to remind myself that outside of looking for contraband I shouldn't be reading people's mail. I know inmates lose many privileges in prison (such as the privilege of privacy), but I still wanted to give them as much as I could, while looking for contraband.
I enjoyed working in the mailroom because it was something different and because the C/O was very nice. I know she's probably tough around inmates but she said she liked having someone in the mailroom with her so she talked a lot and I enjoyed the conversation.
Well, this post is quite long. I'll end it here. Until next time!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Handing out Diplomas, Certificates and Degrees
Today my boss and I were finally able to give the inmates their official diplomas, certificates, and degrees. About 30 men graduated in May in the horticulture, food service, and culinary technology programs that are organized by Lenoir Community College. Since then, my boss and I have had to enter merit days for all of the achievements into the computer, as well as the name of the specific diplomas, and make lots of copies in order to have records for the inmates' transitional folders (which basically hold all the important documents they accumulate while in the prison system) and to have records for the educational programs department at Eastern. Many of the inmates had been asking my boss about their diplomas several times over the past couple of weeks and today they finally received them. I think it is really great that many of them have worked hard to achieve their certificates. Yeah, the cynics in the Department of Corrections will say that the inmates only took the courses so they could earn merit days (that will deduct days from their maximum sentence) and that may be the case for a few of them, but others of them are different. One inmate was smiling so brightly when he finally got to hold his official diploma from the college he thanked my boss and said he was as happy as a spring chicken. Another inmate said he was so glad he finally had the diplomas so he could send them home and show his sons that they should work hard and get an education. I liked those moments.
Tonight I'm attending ECU's chapter of Every Nation Campus Ministries with a friend of mine from Chapel Hill. It will be cool to fellowship with other Christians and to see what campus ministry is like at ECU.
Tomorrow after work I am leaving for Parris Island, S.C. to see my Dad and his family. I'm looking forward to seeing them, since I haven't seen them since Christmas and also because Father's Day is this Sunday.
I still haven't decided if I'm going to take my laptop with me to S.C., I'm not even sure if I'm have Internet access anyways. So if I don't blog any this weekend, I'll definitely make up for it next week. I hope all is well and I hope everyone takes the time this weekend to tell their dads how much they appreciate and love them.
Tonight I'm attending ECU's chapter of Every Nation Campus Ministries with a friend of mine from Chapel Hill. It will be cool to fellowship with other Christians and to see what campus ministry is like at ECU.
Tomorrow after work I am leaving for Parris Island, S.C. to see my Dad and his family. I'm looking forward to seeing them, since I haven't seen them since Christmas and also because Father's Day is this Sunday.
I still haven't decided if I'm going to take my laptop with me to S.C., I'm not even sure if I'm have Internet access anyways. So if I don't blog any this weekend, I'll definitely make up for it next week. I hope all is well and I hope everyone takes the time this weekend to tell their dads how much they appreciate and love them.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Neuse Correctional
Today my supervisor and I visited Neuse Correctional Institution in Goldsboro, NC. I arrived later than expected because I had to drive in rain the entire 40 or so miles from Greenville. My supervisor set up this visit because he wanted me to see what a diagnostic center is like and also have to opportunity to talk with some of the mental health staff. Neuse Correctional is a minimum custody facility which means the inmates get more priveleges than they would at Eastern which is a medium custody facility. These priveleges can include, if the inmate goes without infractions, work release to work at places outside the prisons and home visits. Before visiting this facility I didn't even know such things existed or were possibilities for inmates.
The prisoners also have more freedom to walk around outside between buildings. The prison is set up like a small college campus enclosed by two layers of barbed wire fencing. There are dormitory buildings, a programs building, and a cafeteria and probably other buildings that I wasn't able to see because I mostly stayed in the programs area and took a brief look at one of the dormitories.
Neuse is the largest misdemeanor processing facility in the state. After inmates leave jail they are sent to Neuse and processed and then a few may remain at Neuse but most of them will be transported to other faicilities. Processing includes creating or updating an inmate's files in the system which include their background, medical history, dental history, mental health history, substance abuse history, if any gang affiliation history, crime history, and education level. All of the people involved with processing have fifteen days to compile all of this on the inmate. It's pretty neat the whole system they have set up to do this effectively.
Neuse also has a mental health unit at their facility which includes two psychologists, a psychiatrist, a social worker and a licensed clinical social worker. I was able to sit down and speak with the chief psychologist for about 30 minutes. He estimated that about 95% of the inmates that come in have some history of substance use and abuse and for many of them what may have been diagnosed as a mental disorder such as bipolar disorder is really the result of substance abuse. This is not to blame the doctors the inmates once saw but to say that because of the way the mental health system is set up many of these doctors were only able to see the inmates a few times that were far apart, not allowing them to gather the full picture that a staff psychologist who works in the prison would see. I also spoke with the clinical social worker who basically has all the responsibilities of a staff psychologist except she does not have the responsibility to do testing and after receiving her licensing she does not need to be supervised, unlike psychologists with their masters who must still have supervision. She gave me some helpful advice in that she recommended I get a masters in a social work, specifically mental health, that way I could still do social services stuff but I could also do more clinical/therapy work if I liked. She said the main reason she went into social work was because of her desire to help people. So it looks like so far I'm on the right track because that's definitley what I want to do.
In other news, I'm still a little sick with a cold, but I'm feeling a lot better than last week and I've actually gotten my voice back. I hope all is well with all of you. Until next time!
The prisoners also have more freedom to walk around outside between buildings. The prison is set up like a small college campus enclosed by two layers of barbed wire fencing. There are dormitory buildings, a programs building, and a cafeteria and probably other buildings that I wasn't able to see because I mostly stayed in the programs area and took a brief look at one of the dormitories.
Neuse is the largest misdemeanor processing facility in the state. After inmates leave jail they are sent to Neuse and processed and then a few may remain at Neuse but most of them will be transported to other faicilities. Processing includes creating or updating an inmate's files in the system which include their background, medical history, dental history, mental health history, substance abuse history, if any gang affiliation history, crime history, and education level. All of the people involved with processing have fifteen days to compile all of this on the inmate. It's pretty neat the whole system they have set up to do this effectively.
Neuse also has a mental health unit at their facility which includes two psychologists, a psychiatrist, a social worker and a licensed clinical social worker. I was able to sit down and speak with the chief psychologist for about 30 minutes. He estimated that about 95% of the inmates that come in have some history of substance use and abuse and for many of them what may have been diagnosed as a mental disorder such as bipolar disorder is really the result of substance abuse. This is not to blame the doctors the inmates once saw but to say that because of the way the mental health system is set up many of these doctors were only able to see the inmates a few times that were far apart, not allowing them to gather the full picture that a staff psychologist who works in the prison would see. I also spoke with the clinical social worker who basically has all the responsibilities of a staff psychologist except she does not have the responsibility to do testing and after receiving her licensing she does not need to be supervised, unlike psychologists with their masters who must still have supervision. She gave me some helpful advice in that she recommended I get a masters in a social work, specifically mental health, that way I could still do social services stuff but I could also do more clinical/therapy work if I liked. She said the main reason she went into social work was because of her desire to help people. So it looks like so far I'm on the right track because that's definitley what I want to do.
In other news, I'm still a little sick with a cold, but I'm feeling a lot better than last week and I've actually gotten my voice back. I hope all is well with all of you. Until next time!
Monday, June 15, 2009
Custody Reviews
I thought you might want to know about one of the tasks I did during my first couple of weeks at Eastern. At Eastern inmates' custody classifications' are reviewed every six months. Because the inmate arrive at Eastern at different times, each case manager has about seven or eight (or sometimes up to sixteen!) inmates to review every month. A checklist is completed to determine if the inmate should remain at medium custody (eastern), be demoted to closed custody, or promoted to minimum custody. I was given access to the OPUS (Offender Population Unified System) database in order to find all the facts required of the checklist and then I compiled it all from the computer. Some of the things that must be written into the final report of the inmate's review include the length of the inmate's sentence, if he has any infractions, any escapes or any stg (security threat group, a.k.a. gang) affiliations. There are two very important things to know when making the ultimate decision and those are the Case Factor Score and the PRD (Projected Release Date.) The CFS is based on many factors and must be between 0 and 11 for an inmate to be considered for minimum custody. The PRD is important because an inmate must be within 60 months of his PRD or parole eligibility date in order to be considered for minimum custody.
I know none of this is of much use to anyone reading this but I'm just learning so much stuff and I wanted to share it with people.
Before anyone thinks that the Department of Corrections is allowing an intern to decide the custody status of inmates, I must mention that many of the inmates on my boss's case load have a federal detainer on them. A federal detainer means that some time during his sentence the inmate will attend a hearing to determine if he will be deported or remain in the U.S. after he finishes his sentence. No matter how low the inmate's score is he will be retained at a medium custody facility because he needs to be tracked in order to be deported and because of the higher priveleges an inmate receives in minimum custody he is considered a high flight risk. I reviewed about seven inmates' cases over the past two weeks and all of them are staying here at Eastern because of federal detainers.
I know none of this is of much use to anyone reading this but I'm just learning so much stuff and I wanted to share it with people.
Before anyone thinks that the Department of Corrections is allowing an intern to decide the custody status of inmates, I must mention that many of the inmates on my boss's case load have a federal detainer on them. A federal detainer means that some time during his sentence the inmate will attend a hearing to determine if he will be deported or remain in the U.S. after he finishes his sentence. No matter how low the inmate's score is he will be retained at a medium custody facility because he needs to be tracked in order to be deported and because of the higher priveleges an inmate receives in minimum custody he is considered a high flight risk. I reviewed about seven inmates' cases over the past two weeks and all of them are staying here at Eastern because of federal detainers.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
The Economy
I'm sure with the title of this post, many people aren't going to want to read this. I personally, have been hearing so much about the economy lately that I would rather just forget about it. But forgetting about it won't change it. Although living on a college campus can often be like living in a bubble I felt like I was still hearing about the effects of the economy while still in school such as hearing about less money for classes in the future or having to work shifts at my job by myself. When I got home from college I heard my parents (both state employees) talk about the paycheck cuts and the mandatory furlough days.
Since I've began my internship I've learned a lot more about how the state budget issues are having effects on individuals and the Department of Corrections. I attended a volunteer reception for the Department of Corrections a couple of weeks ago and nearly every person that spoke used the phrase "difficult economic times" while they were speaking. They also emphasized the importance of volunteers in these difficult economic times. The Secretary of the Department, Mr. Keller, and the Department's Chief Operating Officer, Ms. Lancaster also attended the reception. Both said that things do not look good but they will be trying their best to voice the concerns of the Department to the Governor and State Legislature.
Lately, I've seen and heard how these "not good things" have manifested themselves throughout the Department of Corrections. Currently, it is proposed (I believe it's just been proposed, I'm not sure if a final decision has been made) that eight prisons will be shut down. This means that the prisoners will be transported to new prisons, but because the state is not currently hiring people, the staff at the 8 closed prisons will be out of jobs. So the state will be dealing with lots of new prisoners with a lot less staff. This poses a very big security problem and could keep the Division of Prisons from reaching its primary goal, which is to protect the public. I heard two staff members in the prison discussing how, unfortunately, people may not realize the severity of the staff shortage problem until something very bad happens such as an inmates doing something to officers. I pray that doesn't happen in order for more staff to be hired. However, I was told today that the new DOC policy is to only hire a new staff member if the prison is 27 staff members short. That seems like a lot of staff to lose. And from what I can see, at my short time at the prison, there are not many unnecessary staff members at prison so if a prison was 27 staff members short the prison would be in a very very dire situation, almost un-functional. (I would think.)
I pray for our state leaders as they decide on this budget and I pray that God would be with all the people throughout the state, specifically, the state employees, who feel that they may be taking most of the punishment for fixing these "difficult economic times."
Since I've began my internship I've learned a lot more about how the state budget issues are having effects on individuals and the Department of Corrections. I attended a volunteer reception for the Department of Corrections a couple of weeks ago and nearly every person that spoke used the phrase "difficult economic times" while they were speaking. They also emphasized the importance of volunteers in these difficult economic times. The Secretary of the Department, Mr. Keller, and the Department's Chief Operating Officer, Ms. Lancaster also attended the reception. Both said that things do not look good but they will be trying their best to voice the concerns of the Department to the Governor and State Legislature.
Lately, I've seen and heard how these "not good things" have manifested themselves throughout the Department of Corrections. Currently, it is proposed (I believe it's just been proposed, I'm not sure if a final decision has been made) that eight prisons will be shut down. This means that the prisoners will be transported to new prisons, but because the state is not currently hiring people, the staff at the 8 closed prisons will be out of jobs. So the state will be dealing with lots of new prisoners with a lot less staff. This poses a very big security problem and could keep the Division of Prisons from reaching its primary goal, which is to protect the public. I heard two staff members in the prison discussing how, unfortunately, people may not realize the severity of the staff shortage problem until something very bad happens such as an inmates doing something to officers. I pray that doesn't happen in order for more staff to be hired. However, I was told today that the new DOC policy is to only hire a new staff member if the prison is 27 staff members short. That seems like a lot of staff to lose. And from what I can see, at my short time at the prison, there are not many unnecessary staff members at prison so if a prison was 27 staff members short the prison would be in a very very dire situation, almost un-functional. (I would think.)
I pray for our state leaders as they decide on this budget and I pray that God would be with all the people throughout the state, specifically, the state employees, who feel that they may be taking most of the punishment for fixing these "difficult economic times."
Monday, June 8, 2009
A New Leash on Life
Today I attended the New Leash on Life graduation. "A New Leash on Life" is a program that allows inmates at Eastern and other minimum and maximum facilities to train dogs that are housed at animal shelters. The inmates receive training from actual dog trainers and then the inmates spend 10 weeks training the dogs to respond to commands before the dogs are adopted. Being a trainer is an actual job assignment that the inmates receive and they spend lots and lots of time training the dogs. There were three dogs that "graduated today" and five inmate trainers that had trained them(3 main ones, and 2 assistants.) There was a "performance" to demonstrate the obedience of the dogs and it was quite incredible how well the dogs obeyed. My boss says the program is great because it gives the inmates the opportunity to love something in a prison where there isn't much love. It was really cool to also hear what the inmates had to say about how the program had changed their lives. One inmate spoke today on how his interactions with the dogs he had trained had helped him learn how to better interact with people. He said he learned that he can't approach every person the same way because, like animals, each person is different and may need to be communicated to differently. My boss told me that he has seen how the inmate and other inmates have changed since starting the program. I think the program is great. Also, the program is funded by donations, not the state, so I don' t think the program is in danger of ending any time soon.
On another note, I spoke to someone today and I wanted to make a correction to my last post. If my understanding is correct, if a person is sentenced to life in prison under structured sentencing (a type of sentencing that came into use after January 1, 1994) then that person will stay in prison. The case that I had talked about earlier where the inmate was released from prison had received a life sentence under fair sentencing (the sentencing used prior to January 1, 1994). I would type more about the difference between the two types of sentencing but I'm not sure I have enough knowledge to do so. Even with this new information, I still think people with enough influence and connections could get out of their sentences. Additionally, with pressure on the Department of Corrections to house incoming inmates things could also change that could allow people out of a life sentence. That's just a hypothesis, though, I'm not sure if it would ever happen. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that life sentencing should still be looked at to ensure it as a possible, effective alternative to the death sentence.
On another note, I spoke to someone today and I wanted to make a correction to my last post. If my understanding is correct, if a person is sentenced to life in prison under structured sentencing (a type of sentencing that came into use after January 1, 1994) then that person will stay in prison. The case that I had talked about earlier where the inmate was released from prison had received a life sentence under fair sentencing (the sentencing used prior to January 1, 1994). I would type more about the difference between the two types of sentencing but I'm not sure I have enough knowledge to do so. Even with this new information, I still think people with enough influence and connections could get out of their sentences. Additionally, with pressure on the Department of Corrections to house incoming inmates things could also change that could allow people out of a life sentence. That's just a hypothesis, though, I'm not sure if it would ever happen. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that life sentencing should still be looked at to ensure it as a possible, effective alternative to the death sentence.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
thoughts on the death penalty
Taken from a journal entry during lunch break 06-04-09:
I've usually always been of the mindset that when it comes to the death penalty I would rather have someone sentenced to life in prison than sentenced to death. 1) I don't think we, as imperfect humans, should act as God and decide to kill someone and 2) unlike God, we as humans can make mistakes, which has been seen in the number of people that have been exonerated because of DNA evidence and 3) I don't like the idea of someone being put in the position to "legally" murder someone.
But I'm learning that an inmate being sentenced to life doesn't guarantee he/she will be in prison for life. Some inmates with life sentences (called "lifers" at the prison) may have a mandatory 10-25 years of prison with the possibility of parole.
So then I thought maybe the solution would be to sentence a prisoner to life without the possibility of parole. I asked my boss if he knew of anyone who had been sentenced to life without the possibility of parole who had still gotten out of prison. To my surprise, he said yes. It was the story of a man who had killed someone for setting him up during a drug deal. The man was in prison for a long time (I think about 20 years) and his daughters continued to persist in allowing him to have parole. Eventually they caught the ear of one of the influential state legislators and eventually their father was let out of prison, on parole. So, if someone has the money and the connections to influence he/she can still get out of prison even with a life sentence.
All of this doesn't make me think that re-instating the death penalty (in N.C.) is the right solution, though. But it does make me realize that life in prison isn't necessarily a guarantee of life in prison and that in order to provide life in prison as an effective alternative to capital punishment changes must be made in the law and policy. Or at least that's what I think right now.
I've usually always been of the mindset that when it comes to the death penalty I would rather have someone sentenced to life in prison than sentenced to death. 1) I don't think we, as imperfect humans, should act as God and decide to kill someone and 2) unlike God, we as humans can make mistakes, which has been seen in the number of people that have been exonerated because of DNA evidence and 3) I don't like the idea of someone being put in the position to "legally" murder someone.
But I'm learning that an inmate being sentenced to life doesn't guarantee he/she will be in prison for life. Some inmates with life sentences (called "lifers" at the prison) may have a mandatory 10-25 years of prison with the possibility of parole.
So then I thought maybe the solution would be to sentence a prisoner to life without the possibility of parole. I asked my boss if he knew of anyone who had been sentenced to life without the possibility of parole who had still gotten out of prison. To my surprise, he said yes. It was the story of a man who had killed someone for setting him up during a drug deal. The man was in prison for a long time (I think about 20 years) and his daughters continued to persist in allowing him to have parole. Eventually they caught the ear of one of the influential state legislators and eventually their father was let out of prison, on parole. So, if someone has the money and the connections to influence he/she can still get out of prison even with a life sentence.
All of this doesn't make me think that re-instating the death penalty (in N.C.) is the right solution, though. But it does make me realize that life in prison isn't necessarily a guarantee of life in prison and that in order to provide life in prison as an effective alternative to capital punishment changes must be made in the law and policy. Or at least that's what I think right now.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Blessed
Today I am tired. Very, very tired. Yet in the midst of my tiredness God has been reminding me of how blessed I am. I am very thankful for all the great things that God has allowed to happen recently. For example, things have been going really well with my roommates. I've only been living here for a little over a week, but I get along with all of them really well. We're different, but there's a bit of care-free-ness (which is not a word, I know) in all of us which makes sharing an apartment very easy. Yesterday we all had to move our furniture out of our rooms because the apartment complex was receiving new furniture. We helped each other out and even though it was a simple thing it was a really great moment. I'm so glad that we could help each other out. I guess it's one of those simple things that makes life great.
My boss at work is really great, too. Not only is he helpful at work, thoroughly explaining things to me and introducing me to people, but he is interested in making sure everything is going okay outside of work. We talk a lot about different topics. The other day we talked about government and Hurrican Katrina and today we talked about our faith. He is a Christian, too, which is really awesome. I've been very blessed to have great bosses throughout all my past jobs and he is definitely one of them.
My boss at work is really great, too. Not only is he helpful at work, thoroughly explaining things to me and introducing me to people, but he is interested in making sure everything is going okay outside of work. We talk a lot about different topics. The other day we talked about government and Hurrican Katrina and today we talked about our faith. He is a Christian, too, which is really awesome. I've been very blessed to have great bosses throughout all my past jobs and he is definitely one of them.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Religion at Eastern
As I said earlier there are 13 different religions that are recognized at Eastern. Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, and Hinduism are 4 of the most common ones. There are also people identify as Wiccan, Rastafarian, and followers of Azatru. Someone told me Azatru is a religion originating from the Nordic region. It's interesting to me that there are so many religions practiced there. I believe the facility is required to provide space for each religion whether that means providing a scheduled prayer time for certain followers or establishing a sacred ground, such as the Native American sacred ground area in one of the prison courtyards. The prison is also required to let each group recognize the holidays of its particular faith.
There is one chaplain for the entire prisoner and I was talking to him the other day. He is a Christian and a pastor at a local church. I asked him how he feels about being a Christian but also being in a position where he is required to recognize all these other religions. He told me, "if recognizing these other religions is what I have to do in order to have a position here with an open door where there is the opportunity to talk to an inmate about Jesus, than it's worth it." I thought those were very wise words. And I think it shows how he balances his position as a religious counselor in the prison with his personal beliefs. He's not one before the other, but both.
In other news, the C.O. that reprimanded me for my clothing last Thursday apologized to me today. I told her I accepted her apology. I didn't know what else to say because before I said anything I was thinking about if I should say something, if I should ignore her, or if I should consider her sincerity before accepting her words. However, Jesus made me realize the important thing was to accept the apology and that's what I did (thank goodness) before any of my sinful nature got in the way.
There is one chaplain for the entire prisoner and I was talking to him the other day. He is a Christian and a pastor at a local church. I asked him how he feels about being a Christian but also being in a position where he is required to recognize all these other religions. He told me, "if recognizing these other religions is what I have to do in order to have a position here with an open door where there is the opportunity to talk to an inmate about Jesus, than it's worth it." I thought those were very wise words. And I think it shows how he balances his position as a religious counselor in the prison with his personal beliefs. He's not one before the other, but both.
In other news, the C.O. that reprimanded me for my clothing last Thursday apologized to me today. I told her I accepted her apology. I didn't know what else to say because before I said anything I was thinking about if I should say something, if I should ignore her, or if I should consider her sincerity before accepting her words. However, Jesus made me realize the important thing was to accept the apology and that's what I did (thank goodness) before any of my sinful nature got in the way.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
I'm not a quitter
That's what I said to my supervisor when he somewhat jokingly asked me if I wanted to quit after what happened this morning.
This morning I arrived at the facility after a round-about trip, since I managed to get lost for the third time in the last two days. Today I was scheduled to meet my supervisor in the lobby of the prison and then go with his supervisor to a Volunteer Recognition Ceremony in Raleigh. I was told that a skirt and blouse were acceptable dress for the occasion and that is what I wore. As I was sitting in the lobby I heard someone banging on a window. I looked to my right and saw a Correctional Officer at the window of the main control center of the prison motioning for me to come towards her. I came to the door by the control center and heard the buzzing sound that signals the unlocking of the door. I entered in the center and she took a couple of steps towards me and proceeded to tell me I had no business wearing such an outfit in an all-male prison. She said that as soon as I walked into the areas where the inmates were they would be ****ing off at me. I told her that my boss told me this was appropriate to wear. She said that she was going to talk to my boss's supervisor. She told me that she had worked at this prison for 11 years and that what I wore was not appropriate. She then turned away. I took that as my cue to leave.
I was shocked because I felt like I was being attacked. I was embarrassed for not knowing the appropriate dress code. I was wondering what to do, should I go home and change? But my boss had said this was ok, hadn't he? I was angry that someone whose name I didn't even know had so harshly reprimanded me.
And of course my reaction was to tear up. I hate that. It's always been my reaction when I thought I was in trouble for something. I was doing "fine," as in just the occasional tear and any facial appearance I could still blame as a result of allergies acting up, until my boss came in and asked me what was wrong. It's like when you fall of your bike when you're younger. You're alright until someone asks you if you're alright and as soon as you have to talk that's when the tears start coming like crazy and you can't stop. Well that happened to 19-year old Savanah today. Thankfully my boss was very understanding. He said that the officer was just like that and sometimes under the "murkiness" of all she says there is some bit of goodness. She was ultimately trying to look out for my safety. And deep down I know that.
So at 8:15 on May 28th I was reminded once again that sometimes people are just the way they are, and in this case it was abrasive and tough, and I can't take it personally. It was a big learning experience, and I've had interactions with people like that before, but it's still hard for me to deal with. As I was driving home today, which took 50 minutes because I became lost again among the country of Greene County, I tried to think of all the "come-backs" I could say to this C.O. tomorrow. I wanted to make it clear to her that she was out-of-line and she really hurt me. But it's not my place. First of all, my supervisor is taking care of that. Second, I don't think it's Christ-like of me to return her abrasiveness with more abrasiveness. I really want to just ignore her the rest of my time here. But she won't care nor will she be affected by it, not making me feel any better. Also, my anger towards her will affect me more than it affects her. So I know Jesus wants me to love this woman. Not because my love will suddenly changer her, but because I am to be a light for Him. He who forgave all of us, because we all have fallen short. It's hard following Him, but He never said it would be easy. I found that out when I learned that the true meaning of "easy" in Matthew 11:28-29 is not easy, as without hardships and trials, but easy as in good and kind and full of peace.
I learned a lot today. I'm ready for the weekend.
This morning I arrived at the facility after a round-about trip, since I managed to get lost for the third time in the last two days. Today I was scheduled to meet my supervisor in the lobby of the prison and then go with his supervisor to a Volunteer Recognition Ceremony in Raleigh. I was told that a skirt and blouse were acceptable dress for the occasion and that is what I wore. As I was sitting in the lobby I heard someone banging on a window. I looked to my right and saw a Correctional Officer at the window of the main control center of the prison motioning for me to come towards her. I came to the door by the control center and heard the buzzing sound that signals the unlocking of the door. I entered in the center and she took a couple of steps towards me and proceeded to tell me I had no business wearing such an outfit in an all-male prison. She said that as soon as I walked into the areas where the inmates were they would be ****ing off at me. I told her that my boss told me this was appropriate to wear. She said that she was going to talk to my boss's supervisor. She told me that she had worked at this prison for 11 years and that what I wore was not appropriate. She then turned away. I took that as my cue to leave.
I was shocked because I felt like I was being attacked. I was embarrassed for not knowing the appropriate dress code. I was wondering what to do, should I go home and change? But my boss had said this was ok, hadn't he? I was angry that someone whose name I didn't even know had so harshly reprimanded me.
And of course my reaction was to tear up. I hate that. It's always been my reaction when I thought I was in trouble for something. I was doing "fine," as in just the occasional tear and any facial appearance I could still blame as a result of allergies acting up, until my boss came in and asked me what was wrong. It's like when you fall of your bike when you're younger. You're alright until someone asks you if you're alright and as soon as you have to talk that's when the tears start coming like crazy and you can't stop. Well that happened to 19-year old Savanah today. Thankfully my boss was very understanding. He said that the officer was just like that and sometimes under the "murkiness" of all she says there is some bit of goodness. She was ultimately trying to look out for my safety. And deep down I know that.
So at 8:15 on May 28th I was reminded once again that sometimes people are just the way they are, and in this case it was abrasive and tough, and I can't take it personally. It was a big learning experience, and I've had interactions with people like that before, but it's still hard for me to deal with. As I was driving home today, which took 50 minutes because I became lost again among the country of Greene County, I tried to think of all the "come-backs" I could say to this C.O. tomorrow. I wanted to make it clear to her that she was out-of-line and she really hurt me. But it's not my place. First of all, my supervisor is taking care of that. Second, I don't think it's Christ-like of me to return her abrasiveness with more abrasiveness. I really want to just ignore her the rest of my time here. But she won't care nor will she be affected by it, not making me feel any better. Also, my anger towards her will affect me more than it affects her. So I know Jesus wants me to love this woman. Not because my love will suddenly changer her, but because I am to be a light for Him. He who forgave all of us, because we all have fallen short. It's hard following Him, but He never said it would be easy. I found that out when I learned that the true meaning of "easy" in Matthew 11:28-29 is not easy, as without hardships and trials, but easy as in good and kind and full of peace.
I learned a lot today. I'm ready for the weekend.
My first day at Eastern Correctional
Things I learned, yesterday, at my first day at Eastern
1. I can't take my cell phone or wallet (the facility is "cash-less" so you don't give any money to inmates) into the building
2. I need to carry anything I take into the building in my hands (no bag) or in a clear plastic bag
3. In the Division of Prisons there are two sub-divisions: Custody (the officers in the facility) and Programs (ranging from case management, classification, education, AA meetings). I will be working with someone in Programs.
4. Eastern has a focus on education (whereas other institutions might focus on mental health). There are many educational opportunities such as ESL classes, GED classes, an Associates degree in horticulture and an Associates degree in Culinary arts, to name a few.
5. Eastern recognizes 13 different religions.
6. If I need to go to the bathroom I need to obtain a key. All the bathrooms that have doors on them, the ones only available to staff, have locks on them. The facilities for the inmates have windows in them. My supervisor said if I ever enter a dormitory area, which isn't very likely, to just look down so I don't see anything.
6. Because this is a medium-custody facility the inmates in the regular population (there is a segregated population, located in a different part of the facility) are able to walk "freely" about the building.
The last thing is the thing that surprised me the most. There are some parts of the prison that you are only able to access by a key. However, men walk from the chow hall to their dorms by themselves. They walk from their dorms to the programs area, the chaplain's office or the library by themselves. Sometimes I felt like I was in a high school with older students just walking around. However, when my supervisor says "hi" to an inmate and afterwards tells me that inmate was charged for 2nd degree murder of his wife, then I am reminded that I am in a prison.
1. I can't take my cell phone or wallet (the facility is "cash-less" so you don't give any money to inmates) into the building
2. I need to carry anything I take into the building in my hands (no bag) or in a clear plastic bag
3. In the Division of Prisons there are two sub-divisions: Custody (the officers in the facility) and Programs (ranging from case management, classification, education, AA meetings). I will be working with someone in Programs.
4. Eastern has a focus on education (whereas other institutions might focus on mental health). There are many educational opportunities such as ESL classes, GED classes, an Associates degree in horticulture and an Associates degree in Culinary arts, to name a few.
5. Eastern recognizes 13 different religions.
6. If I need to go to the bathroom I need to obtain a key. All the bathrooms that have doors on them, the ones only available to staff, have locks on them. The facilities for the inmates have windows in them. My supervisor said if I ever enter a dormitory area, which isn't very likely, to just look down so I don't see anything.
6. Because this is a medium-custody facility the inmates in the regular population (there is a segregated population, located in a different part of the facility) are able to walk "freely" about the building.
The last thing is the thing that surprised me the most. There are some parts of the prison that you are only able to access by a key. However, men walk from the chow hall to their dorms by themselves. They walk from their dorms to the programs area, the chaplain's office or the library by themselves. Sometimes I felt like I was in a high school with older students just walking around. However, when my supervisor says "hi" to an inmate and afterwards tells me that inmate was charged for 2nd degree murder of his wife, then I am reminded that I am in a prison.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Oh how my tiredness shows
So the last post was the first one I made without proof-reading and it definitely shows. I'm so embarrassed I feel an apology is in order. I apologize for the grammatical errors, I'll proofread next time :)
Orientation
So today I attended the orientation for the NC Internship program. I was able to meet my supervisors, in person, for the first time and I was able to meet many of the interns that will also be working throughout the state this summer. I love meeting new people so as soon as I saw to college age women walking in the parking lot towards the Natural Sciences museum, where the orientation was held, I immediately introduced themselves. By the time we arrived at the registration table I had found out that they both attended UNC (one undergrad, the other law school) and I found out that one of them actually went to the same high school as me. Then when I entered the auditorium we had this wonderful networking game which provided me the excuse to meet many other people. It was really neat to hear what other types of internships these people will be participating in. One man is a computer science major and mapping flood regions for the state. Another woman is developing a class for courts of clerks to take to supplement the manual they already receive. Some people are working for the Natural Resources and Energy Development Agency, others for the National Guard, others for the Court of Appeals and others for the Department of Corrections. A common thread among all of them was there interest in what they would be doing.
There were many speakers at the orientation including the Lt. Governor (Walter Dalton) and the NC Insurance Commissioner (Wayne Goodwin). Each speaker reminded of us of how proud we should be that us 100 interns were selected from 714 applicants. They thanked us for volunteering our summers to be public servants to the good people of N.C. They encouraged us to make the most of this wonderful opportunity and to be curious and as questions. Some people may have thought it was cheesy, but it reminded me of how blessed I am to have an internship and to make the most of this wonderful experiment.
So after the internship I drove to Greenville and moved in the rest of my stuff into the apartment. Rachel, the woman I share a bathroom with, was there and thankfully helped me move it in. We spent a lot of time talking as we drove to the prison (so I could see how long it would take to get there) and to the grocery store. We talked about the similarities and differences between ECU and UNC and all the stuff college kids talk about like majors, career plans, the good places to eat, etc.
We arrived home and I attempted to make black beans and rice. I'm still not sure if they were good or not because I was so hungry by the time they were finished. I had plenty of leftovers so we'll see how they taste tomorrow. That was my first meal I cooked in this apartment. I thought it would be awful washing the dishes and all but it was quite relaxing. I read once of a monk who used his time in the kitchen to pray and meditate on how good God is. The kitchen he served in became his sanctuary. With that mindset cooking and cleaning will never be a chore. I hope I can keep that in mind.
So this entry was very list-like but I'm so tired I didn't really know what else to say. I have to leave for work tomorrow by 7 so I should probably end this soon. I'm excited for work tomorrow. I love beginning new jobs! It will be so much to take in, but I have the whole summer to take it all in.
Until tomorrow!
There were many speakers at the orientation including the Lt. Governor (Walter Dalton) and the NC Insurance Commissioner (Wayne Goodwin). Each speaker reminded of us of how proud we should be that us 100 interns were selected from 714 applicants. They thanked us for volunteering our summers to be public servants to the good people of N.C. They encouraged us to make the most of this wonderful opportunity and to be curious and as questions. Some people may have thought it was cheesy, but it reminded me of how blessed I am to have an internship and to make the most of this wonderful experiment.
So after the internship I drove to Greenville and moved in the rest of my stuff into the apartment. Rachel, the woman I share a bathroom with, was there and thankfully helped me move it in. We spent a lot of time talking as we drove to the prison (so I could see how long it would take to get there) and to the grocery store. We talked about the similarities and differences between ECU and UNC and all the stuff college kids talk about like majors, career plans, the good places to eat, etc.
We arrived home and I attempted to make black beans and rice. I'm still not sure if they were good or not because I was so hungry by the time they were finished. I had plenty of leftovers so we'll see how they taste tomorrow. That was my first meal I cooked in this apartment. I thought it would be awful washing the dishes and all but it was quite relaxing. I read once of a monk who used his time in the kitchen to pray and meditate on how good God is. The kitchen he served in became his sanctuary. With that mindset cooking and cleaning will never be a chore. I hope I can keep that in mind.
So this entry was very list-like but I'm so tired I didn't really know what else to say. I have to leave for work tomorrow by 7 so I should probably end this soon. I'm excited for work tomorrow. I love beginning new jobs! It will be so much to take in, but I have the whole summer to take it all in.
Until tomorrow!
Monday, May 25, 2009
Pre-Internship thoughts: Reactions
I've received many types of reactions when I told people what would be doing this summer. At first, I would tell people that I was working at Eastern Correctional Institution because that is the official name of the prison. I think I might have said that thinking that maybe people wouldn't remember what a correctional institution was and just nod their heads and smile. It wasn't that I was ashamed of working at the prison, but for some reason I felt uncomfortable trying to explain why I would be working at a prison for the summer. I assumed they just wouldn't understand. However, many people knew that correctional institution meant prison. I will never underestimate my friends' knowledge again :) And I soon got used to people's shock so I just began calling it a prison since no matter what I called the place people were still going to ask me why I was interning there.
Like I said reactions have varied. Some have looked at me shocked and surprised. One person said she could see me working there. Another friend couldn't see my "niceness" juxtaposed with the "toughness" of prison. Many have said, "Your mom must be freaking out." And it's interesting because my mom hasn't been freaking out at all. When I was applying for four internships with the program I asked her to look at the description of the internship at the prison and she said that even though I would be working at a prison she felt that I was going to be well-supervised. Then when I found out that was the internship I was offered she whole-heartedly encouraged me to take it because it would be such a great opportunity. I think some of my mom's calmness has rubbed off on me, because I'm more nervous about cooking for myself in my first apartment this summer than working at a prison.
Like I said reactions have varied. Some have looked at me shocked and surprised. One person said she could see me working there. Another friend couldn't see my "niceness" juxtaposed with the "toughness" of prison. Many have said, "Your mom must be freaking out." And it's interesting because my mom hasn't been freaking out at all. When I was applying for four internships with the program I asked her to look at the description of the internship at the prison and she said that even though I would be working at a prison she felt that I was going to be well-supervised. Then when I found out that was the internship I was offered she whole-heartedly encouraged me to take it because it would be such a great opportunity. I think some of my mom's calmness has rubbed off on me, because I'm more nervous about cooking for myself in my first apartment this summer than working at a prison.
Friday, May 22, 2009
The Internship
So for those of you who don't know this summer I will be a case management intern at a prison in Eastern NC. I was offered the internship as part of the NC Government Summer Internship Program. I applied for this specific one because I think learning more about case management will help me to learn if social work is something I would like to do in the future. What I know now is that I want to spend the rest of my life serving God by serving and loving His people. I would like to do that at a community level by helping families and people find the resources they need to help themselves. What I don't know is if social work is the right avenue for me to do this. I've been warned that social work will be draining and exhausting, that it feels futile if there is no policy change....... and I'm sure that is true, but if it's what God wants me to do I know He will prepare me for the job.
So yeah, I'm working in a prison and living in a new town with people I just met this summer and because I know it's going to be a great adventure I thought I'd record my thoughts in a blog. It's been awhile since I've blogged, like since 9th grade when I blogged on Xanga. Yeah, it's been awhile but I hope this is at least a way for me to keep in touch with my family and friends and to let them know how I'm doing in a new town and at a new internship. Happy reading!
So yeah, I'm working in a prison and living in a new town with people I just met this summer and because I know it's going to be a great adventure I thought I'd record my thoughts in a blog. It's been awhile since I've blogged, like since 9th grade when I blogged on Xanga. Yeah, it's been awhile but I hope this is at least a way for me to keep in touch with my family and friends and to let them know how I'm doing in a new town and at a new internship. Happy reading!
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